One English Assignment Gone Wrong
by DJ Flipstar X
Summary: Yes, I actually turned this in for an English assignment in 9th grade. Otherwise this would be far more insane.


The Making of Goldilocks and the Three Bears (My Way):  
Director: Me, DJ Flipstar X  
  
Yes, I actually turned this in for an English assignment, otherwise it would be a bit more insane. It's %99.9 original, %0.01 corrections. Please review this story! If there are grammatical errors, don't blame me; I didn't feel like using Word or Wordpad, so I'm using Notepad.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Alright people, we don't have a lot of time, so let's get this over with. Let's all stick to the script.  
  
Goldilocks: Wait, I'm still getting my make up on.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Then hurry up, Goldie, we don't have all day.  
  
(One hour later....)  
  
Goldilocks: I'm almost done.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: You said that 20 times already.  
  
Goldilocks: (Steps out) I'm done!  
  
DJ Flipstar X: [Finally!] Okay people, let's get this show on the road.  
  
(In walks bears: Mac, Papa Mac, and Mama Mac.)  
  
Mac: She's done? In one hour? Wow, that's a wecord for her.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Alright, let's get this over with, Pink Sniper Monica'll want Papa Mac back.  
  
P. Mac: Hi! I-  
  
Goldilocks: [interrupts] -am a big bear with a huge pink heart in the middle, yeah we know.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Places! And now, the disclaimer:  
I do not own Goldilocks or Papa Mac/Monica from Dirty Pair Flash. I don't even own the right to seriously botch this story, since this is just a school assignment...(Sobs)  
  
Goldilocks: Are you talking to yourself again?  
  
DJ Flipstar X: ...Action!  
  
(Papa Mac, Mama Mac, and Mac go to their kitchen, where there are three steaming bowls of porridge.)  
  
M. Mac: Now where did the bowls come from? I don't remember setting out...  
  
DJ Flipstar X: They're part of the scenery, I'm going to have to edit this part out.  
  
Mac: Yay! Potato soup!  
  
P. Mac: But I can't eat, I'm a robot with a pink heart on my belly!  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Just pretend, we've only got 55 minutes left!  
  
P. Mac: These soups are too hot! Let us go for a walk, shall we?  
  
[exit three bears]  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Enter Goldilocks, the trouble-making redhead!  
...  
...  
I said, ENTER GOLDILOCKS!!  
  
(Goldilocks dashes to soup table, leaving behind a fiery trail.)  
  
Goldilocks: Here I am! Now what do I do?  
  
DJ Flipstar X: I thought you read the script!  
  
Goldilocks: Yeah I did! Umm...I forgot what to do.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: I can't believe I'm not getting paid for this....  
  
Mac: Maybe I can help jog your memowy! (Holds up a gigantic mallet labeled "ACME Memory Recovery Hammer")  
  
Goldilocks: Eeep...Now I remember!(Goes to Papa Mac's bowl) Hmm, I'm hungry. Ooo, potato soup! My favorite!(Takes a sip, screams) My tongue! It's on fire! Literally!  
  
Mac: (Gets a Super Soaker and fires)  
  
Goldilocks: (Completely soaked) Thanks....Now I'm soaked.  
  
Mac: (Runs up with a hair dryer, dries her off, runs back)  
  
Goldilocks: (Goes to Mama Mac's bowl) Now I'll try this one. (Sips) Brr! Cold! (Shouts) YOU KNOW WHAT? I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE FOR MY T-(Gets kicked by Mac) Ow.  
  
Mac: (Grins, runs back)  
  
DJ Flipstar X: (Sobs, thinks)[I'm going to fail this....]  
  
Goldilocks: (Looks at Mac's bowl) Hh this is easy. (Dumps Mama Mac's bowl's contents into Papa Mac's bowl and eats)  
  
DJ Flipstar X: What are you doing?! You're supposed to eat out of Mac's bowl!!  
  
Goldilocks: Not(slurp) enough(sip) food(munch). (Finishes food, devours Mac's soup) I'm sleepy. (Goes upstairs, sees beds, starts shouting...again) I AM NOT SLEEPING IN ANY BEAR'S BED!!  
  
P. Mac: But I'm not a bear, I"m a bear-shaped robot with a pink heart in the middle!  
  
Mac: And I'm a cute widdle teady bear!  
  
M. Mac: And I'm a person in a suit!  
  
Goldilocks: Still... oh fine. (Jumps on Papa Mac's bed) ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! TOO HARD!!! My poor back! Medic....  
  
Mac: (Runs out wearing a hat with a red cross) Here! This will fix you wight up! (Jumps on her back, runs off)  
  
Goldilocks: OWWWWW!  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Well, it looks like I have no choice but to use...AUTHOR POWER!! (POWER echoes...)(DJ Flipstar X gets out laptop, types) "And Goldilock's back is fixed!"  
  
Goldilocks: Hey, my back's fine again! Can you use that to write the story?  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Sorry, but as a first-time parody writer for an English assignment, I can only use it once SO DON'T SCREW UP AGAIN!  
  
Goldilocks: (Walks to Mama Mac's bed) Let's try this bed! (Leaps into it) ARGH! This feels like cotton Jell-O! I'm sinking!  
  
Mac: (Runs out, pulls her out) I'm cute, cuddly, and useful! (Runs off)  
  
Goldilocks: (Walks to Mac's bed) Hmm, this looks good. (Carefully climbs into bed.) Ooo, warm! (Falls asleep.)  
  
(In walks bears)  
  
P. Mac: Hey, someone has eaten my soup! Even though I can't eat....  
  
M. Mac: Hey! Which one of you {CENSORED} ate my soup?! I was hungry!  
  
Mac: My soup! Waaahhh!  
  
Let's go to bed, shall we?  
  
(Bears head upstairs)  
  
M. Mac: Hey, someone slept in my bed!  
  
P. Mac: Umm, I was supposed to say my line first.  
  
M. Mac: Why? Because you're male, you sexist pig?! Well for all you know, I could be a make actor impersonating a female's voice!!  
  
P. Mac: Actually, 1)I'm a robot, so I'm genderless, and 2) The script says I talk first.  
  
DJ Flipstar X: Stick with the script!  
  
P. Mac: My sheets are wrinkled!  
  
Mac: There's someone in my bed!  
  
Goldilocks: (Wakes up) Keep it down! I'm trying to...Oh doo-doo.  
  
Mac: Doo-doo?  
  
P. Mac: BZZZT*INTRUDER DETECTED*ACTIVIATING MACHINE GUNS* (Front paws drop off to reveal maching gun barrels, starts shooting)  
  
Goldilocks: EEEEEEE!(Jumps, grabs a gun hidden under her shirt, starts shooting) See ya! (Leaps out the window)  
  
DJ Flipstar X: CUT! Beautiful, not what I expected, but all right. Papa Mac, stop shooting...STOP!  
  
P. Mac: (Continues shooting)  
  
DJ Flipstar X: RUN! I got this all recorded so I can turn it in!!  
  
*END*  
  
Second disclaimer: I also don't own Super Soaker, AUTHOR POWER, or The Simpsons. 


End file.
